2nd Opinion

Dealing with toxic people by Danielle Barrone

Toxic people. If you are experiencing this in your life, let me share with you what I have learned.
I think I can help you to feel better.


* Be comforted in the fact that you are not alone. Every person walking the earth knows at least one toxic person in their life. The toxic person is a family member, friend, associate, workmate, boss, etc. Toxic people come in all shapes and forms as they know no boundaries.


* Realize that until you stop allowing a toxic person to hurt you and your life, they will continue to do so.


* The most important thing to remember is that you have the power to stop a toxic person. You do this by controlling your own actions and reactions. As you already know, you cannot control the actions of other people. But you can control yourself and your life. You have the power to walk away from a toxic person and not allow them into your life anymore. Freedom is a wonderful and liberating experience.


* Realize that toxic people can drain your health, energy, well being and sanity. It helps to move away from toxic people and move towards people who are positive and uplifting. Positive people are a blessing.


* Move away from what hurts you and move towards what feels good. This is one of the best gifts you can ever give to yourself.


* Remember that toxic people are extremely negative, nasty, miserable, whiny, jealous, inconsiderate, selfish, criminally minded, mentally ill, judgemental, evil, etc. The toxic individual exudes the dark side of human nature all of the time.


* A toxic person will cause other people pain, craziness, and aggravation. They are simple to recognize. Just take notice of how you feel when you are around one of these people. It will be easy to determine. You will immediately feel sick and experience physical symptoms like a headache or stomach pain. Or you will just feel like you are going crazy, but don't worry because that is the true mark of being with a toxic person.


* Remember this information so that you will be better able to identify a toxic person. That is the first step towards eliminating one from your life.


* Know that when a person is toxic it is because of their own issues. Sometimes these issues can be attributed to mental illness. Accept that a toxic persons behavior has nothing to do with you.


* In life, each of us has to take responsibility for our own actions. Toxic people do not do this. They have a habit of turning things around so that you feel bad, you feel guilty, and you feel like you are at fault. Remember that when dealing with a toxic person, they are responsible for their own actions, but often do not. Realize this and you take back your power.


* The best thing you can do when dealing with a toxic person is to walk away and not allow them to hurt you anymore. If you cannot walk away, then mentally walk away. You can do this by being kind to yourself.


* Allow yourself to disengage, disassociate, and detach. Detachment is a process of not caring. It is something you do for yourself. It is a mental skill that takes some time to learn at first, but once it is mastered, it can help you to become stronger mentally and physically.


* Detachment is a necessary skill for preserving your own mental health. Detaching from people and situations that are not good for you is healthy and can help you to feel better.


* Begin letting go by repeating affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements you repeat in your mind. Affirmations are powerful because over time, the mind believes the good you program into it. The following are some examples to help you, but feel free to make your own that speak to you personally.


Letting go will help me to be healthy on many levels.
I control my own life and decisions.
I am healthy.
I am strong.
I feel good about the decision to let go.
Letting go is healthy.


* When dealing with toxic people remember that exercise is your best friend. Exercise relieves both mental and physical tensions. It helps the body to produce healing chemicals that will repair your body and help you think more clearly. Exercise also encourages the release of endorphins, chemicals that relieve pain and help you to feel good both mentally and physically.


* Most importantly develop supportive relationships with your life partner, friends, family, workmates, and associates. Talking things over with the people in your life who love and care for you, can help you to overcome the negativity of toxic people. Just as animals and children instinctively can sense when someone is good or evil, the people who love you are very good at recognizing when someone is toxic and hurting you. Loved ones are a good defense against toxic people because they can offer you good advice and support for eliminating negative influences in your life.