For those who missed the last issue of “Don't you hate it when”, I'll give a brief overview of what was covered.
We covered how miserable people rob us of our energy. How misery loves company etc. . We observed the fact that the way I had been dealing with them wasn't working, and h ow I began to experiment with other methods. Please see “Energy Thieves” for more info.
The methods that I have been experimenting with are as follows: 1. Ignore (covered previously), 2. Avoid, and 3. Mirror. We will now cover Avoidance and I will share my experience with this method,and how it worked for me.
- Avoidance
I experimented with this method by simply avoiding this person as much as possible. This actually required a bit of change on my part. I generally like to sit at my desk when nothing is going on. Not this time. Avoiding the energy thief required getting up and moving around more (which was good for me). Whenever this guy started his pissing and moaning campaign, I simply got up and walked away. I have found this method to be highly effective, as I do not need to deal with this person at all. I'm not there. This also got me out of my comfort zone and caused me to interact more with others. Got me moving instead of simply melting away at my desk listening to all of his garbage. even need to discuss how his whining pisses me off. I simply wasn't there. This also subsided my own anger and frustration. How can I be angry with someone who doesn't exist???
- Mirror
This was the most fun of all of the methods that I have tried. Warning: This requires some balls. The next time that I got stuck with this guy, I had a little fun with him. When he started his attention getting act, I did the same. It was a little uncomfortable at first, but boy was it fun. While he rambled on, I tuned him out by writing all of my problems on a small piece of paper. Then I inadvertently began rambling on about all of my life's issues. I cut him off in mid conversation, to tell him about every problem that I could think of. I learned something that day. I learned that energy thieves like to talk, but not listen. It's funny how people get the point when you simply do what theydo. Like the old adage says “ I can show you better than I can tell you”. Anyway, this was very liberating. I got to vent about all of my problems,and have fun in the process. I admit that I don't know when to stop. I was having so much fun that even when he shut up, I would just randomly blurt out some problem of mine. Boy did he get the picture. He was quiet the rest of the day.
Now when ever I work with this guy, he acts like a normal person. Imagine that. I knew that there was a normal person in there somewhere. I've learned that people will only do to you what you allow them to do. On my next post I will cover what the experts have to say about dealing with miserable people. I want to see if I'm on the mark or not.
Note: Please don't forget to add comments and tell me about things that bother you.
See you next time, Chris
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