Tattletales

Welcome to the latest edition of Don't you hate it when.... Today we will be covering my experiences with tattletales (snitches). I used the title tattletale in the header to make it sound more PC. That word keeps confusing me, because it is actually one word, and I keep trying to make it into two words (ie. tattle tale). Therefore, I will interchange the word tattletale and snitch. They are the same thing. I would say that if it's a child, we may be talking about a tattletale. However, if it's an adult, they're just out right snitches. You know who they are!

Anyway, we all know or work with someone, who we would consider to be a tattletale. You know, the ones who just tell everything. Some may say, don't do anything wrong and you won't have to worry about bring told on. This sounds like something my dad would say (R.I.P). The problem with this ideology is that we all make mistakes, and do things that are not quite up to par. When we do, we don't need some tattletale running to the boss to tell of our misfortune.

I recently had the pleasure of working with such a person, which made for a very long day. I do not like working with such people and (as usual) have put together a list of the reasons why. They are as follows:

1. May as well have the boss working next to you
2. You can't trust snitches
3. They are addicted to seeking attention
4. Adds unnecessary stress
5. They can cost you your job
6. most snitches are cowards

Now I will cover each reason in more detail.

1. May as well have the boss working next to you

Who wants to have their boss working next to them for eight hours. I know I don't. If for no other reason, it would be uncomfortable. Well, it's just as uncomfortable to have a known tattletale next to you for eight hours. It is impossible to have a working knowledge of every single rule (policy and procedure) that my organization has in place. I am bound to not follow at least one of them. I don't need some snitch sitting next to me, with the bosses' # on speed dial, so that he can be on the phone the second that I violate one of the 10,000,000 rules that we have posted.

I had a guy, who works on another shift find extra supplies that we had stashed, in case we ran out. What do you think he did? You guessed it, he ran straight to the boss. How petty. Even the boss though it was petty, and told me next time to simply hide them somewhere else. Nobody likes a rat. I don't even like when my kids tell on each other. Who needs this kind of crap? What was the purpose, other than to make us look bad, and himself look good. What a rat.

2. You can't trust them

This goes without saying , we all know that you can't trust a rat. The guy who told about the supplies was supposed to be a friend of mine. Not a close friend mind you, but we have known each other for a while and were friendly towards each other. In front of people he tries to play it up, as if we're the best of buddies. You know the type.

Well the way I see it, if you're my 'bud', then why would you go out of your way to “rat” me out??? What a snake. Those of you who know me by now, know that I confronted this individual on this issue. I will cover the outcome in a latter section.

3. Most snitches are attention seekers

The guy who ratted me out about the supplies is the epitome of an attention seeker. We relieve them at shift change, and generally get briefed on the days events. It generally takes less than a minute. It's just a brief recant of the days events. Not so with this guy. Day after day, he feels the need to give a full exposition on every single detail of the days events. He usually rambles on anywhere from 10-15 minutes. If I let him, he will hold me hostage telling me of all of his trivial events during the day. I've learned to simply ignore this guy, and go on about my duties. Really? Is all of that really necessary??? If he gives me that much detail, I can only imagine how much he tells the boss at the 'bon-fires', or when he's laying across his couch. Listening to his full synopsis of the days events, each and every day, gets really old really fast.

4. Adds unnecessary stress

Did I lock everything up? Is everything put in it's proper place? Have I dotted every I, and crossed every T? These are the things that run through my mind when working alongside a tattletale. I know that any mistake, no matter how minute, will be reported to the boss immediately. This creates added, and undue stress.

I find things out of place all the time. I simply put them away in their proper place, as opposed to running to the boss 10 times per day. . Of course I'm not a snitch. One day someone left a mess in the break room. True people should clean up after themselves. Wouldn't you know it, someone actually went and got a camera, took a picture of it, and went and showed the boss. Are you serious? Yes, that's the type of environment I work in. Never seen anything like it.

5. Snitches can cost you your job

Seems a little far fetched doesn't it? I would like to think that I don't do anything quite bad enough to get fired for. Right? Well, listen to this.

We were all leaving at the end of our shift. One of the tattletales was holding up the line at the time clock. One of the people behind him called him a retard. If the rat didn't like it, he could have simply confronted the guy about it right? Again, not so with the tattletale. This guy actually filed discriminatory harassment papers against this person. What a weasel.

The employee who called the other guy a retard, actually had a disciplinary hearing on this matter. They boss recommended termination. Really? For calling someone a retard? These are the times that we live in. Everyone has to be so PC.

Well luckily, matters such as this have to go through the really big shots, who recommended a five day suspension. Imagine this employee came close to losing his job, because some people get a kick out of being tattletales.

Even at that, this employee lost a weeks worth of vacation time, because of a tattletale, who simply could have confronted him right then and there. I'd be a little pissed, wouldn't you?

6. Most snitches are cowards

The same tattletale who told on me about stashing supplies was logging in the log book the exact time that my co-worker and I would come in to relieve them. (ie 1301 etc.) I confronted him about this issue. Of course he couldn't explain why he was doing it. He had nothing to say. Every other day he gives a two hour briefing Now on this particular day, he was too tired to talk about it. Well, this particular issue stopped immediately.

Tattletales always take the path of least resistance. While he won't do the log book thing again, I knew that he would soon find a more discrete way of telling. Lo and behold, the supply issue. They can't resist it. It's like a disease. Well enough for now. I actually didn't mean to run this long.

Join us next time when we cover the solutions to dealing with tattletales.

See you next time, Chris

... You're running late.

Don't you hate it when...you're running late?

A couple of weeks ago, I don't know what happened. I did what I normally do, then I looked up at the clock and realized that I was running 15 min. late for work. I hate running late. I've put together a list of reasons why as follows:

1. I'm not as focused
2. My stress level goes up
3. I waste time back tracking

Now I will cover these reasons in detail.

1. Not focused

I have noticed that when I'm running late, I'm not nearly as focused as usual. This causes me to make a bunch of silly mistakes and forget things, due to rushing, therefore, making myself even later. When I realized that I was running late, I started to throw all of my crap (clothes, keys, lunch, etc.) together. Finally ready to leave, now I can't find my keys. I frantically searched about the houselooking for my keys, only to discover that they were in my pocket.

2. Stress level up

When I'm in a rush, my stress level goes up. I react differently to circumstances, than I would normally. As I was frantically dashing about the house, I tripped over the dog. “Get outta my way stupid” I yelled at the poor dog. He was simply at the wrong place at the wrong time. He probably thought “Who're you calling stupid”, I know where my keys are”. I realized that it's not the dogs' fault that I'm running late. He saw me grab my coat and was just saying good-bye as usual.

3. waste time back-tracking

The final thing that I hate about running late is back-tracking. When I was rushing, I couldn't seem to remember anything. Did I pack my lunch? Did a put some fruit and veggies in there? Did I make coffee? I must have wasted at least 10 min. trying to remember what I may have forgotten.

Here are some solutions to running late that I have experimented with.

1. Plan ahead
2. Have a running late plan
3. stop and simply breathe
4. Leave earlier

Let's look at these ideas in detail.

1. Plan ahead

By planning ahead and kind of having a schedule, I've found that I have been less likely to run late in the first place. I have been setting my clothes out the night before. It was kind of a pain at first because it wasn't part of my routine. Oh, that'sright, my routine is what I'm changing. I began to set the non-perishable items for my lunch out on the table, then all I need to do is pack what ever else is needed. I set up the coffee pot the night before. I even made a hook for my keys near the front door. I didn't run late for about a week. That'spretty good for me.

2. Late plan

What about the unexpected you say? Well I did not run late for a little over a week. I found that I had “extra time”. I spent my “extra time” on the computer, surfing the web, checking my blog, etc.. Good thing that I thought ahead and made up a “late plan” for such events.

I made up a list of essentials in the event that I ran late, or something unexpected came up. It was just a simple list of all the things that I generally need (ie. Lunch, keys, clothes, etc.). I prioritized them according to necessity.

Well,this time when I ran late, I simply pulled out my little late list and read it. Keys; check, lunch; check, coffee; check etc.; check. This saved me a lot of time and I was able to make up for someof the time that got away from me. I ended up being on time.

I don't want this blog torun on, so I will pick up at method #3 next time.

See you next time, Chris

2nd Opinion

Dealing with toxic people by Danielle Barrone

Toxic people. If you are experiencing this in your life, let me share with you what I have learned.
I think I can help you to feel better.


* Be comforted in the fact that you are not alone. Every person walking the earth knows at least one toxic person in their life. The toxic person is a family member, friend, associate, workmate, boss, etc. Toxic people come in all shapes and forms as they know no boundaries.


* Realize that until you stop allowing a toxic person to hurt you and your life, they will continue to do so.


* The most important thing to remember is that you have the power to stop a toxic person. You do this by controlling your own actions and reactions. As you already know, you cannot control the actions of other people. But you can control yourself and your life. You have the power to walk away from a toxic person and not allow them into your life anymore. Freedom is a wonderful and liberating experience.


* Realize that toxic people can drain your health, energy, well being and sanity. It helps to move away from toxic people and move towards people who are positive and uplifting. Positive people are a blessing.


* Move away from what hurts you and move towards what feels good. This is one of the best gifts you can ever give to yourself.


* Remember that toxic people are extremely negative, nasty, miserable, whiny, jealous, inconsiderate, selfish, criminally minded, mentally ill, judgemental, evil, etc. The toxic individual exudes the dark side of human nature all of the time.


* A toxic person will cause other people pain, craziness, and aggravation. They are simple to recognize. Just take notice of how you feel when you are around one of these people. It will be easy to determine. You will immediately feel sick and experience physical symptoms like a headache or stomach pain. Or you will just feel like you are going crazy, but don't worry because that is the true mark of being with a toxic person.


* Remember this information so that you will be better able to identify a toxic person. That is the first step towards eliminating one from your life.


* Know that when a person is toxic it is because of their own issues. Sometimes these issues can be attributed to mental illness. Accept that a toxic persons behavior has nothing to do with you.


* In life, each of us has to take responsibility for our own actions. Toxic people do not do this. They have a habit of turning things around so that you feel bad, you feel guilty, and you feel like you are at fault. Remember that when dealing with a toxic person, they are responsible for their own actions, but often do not. Realize this and you take back your power.


* The best thing you can do when dealing with a toxic person is to walk away and not allow them to hurt you anymore. If you cannot walk away, then mentally walk away. You can do this by being kind to yourself.


* Allow yourself to disengage, disassociate, and detach. Detachment is a process of not caring. It is something you do for yourself. It is a mental skill that takes some time to learn at first, but once it is mastered, it can help you to become stronger mentally and physically.


* Detachment is a necessary skill for preserving your own mental health. Detaching from people and situations that are not good for you is healthy and can help you to feel better.


* Begin letting go by repeating affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements you repeat in your mind. Affirmations are powerful because over time, the mind believes the good you program into it. The following are some examples to help you, but feel free to make your own that speak to you personally.


Letting go will help me to be healthy on many levels.
I control my own life and decisions.
I am healthy.
I am strong.
I feel good about the decision to let go.
Letting go is healthy.


* When dealing with toxic people remember that exercise is your best friend. Exercise relieves both mental and physical tensions. It helps the body to produce healing chemicals that will repair your body and help you think more clearly. Exercise also encourages the release of endorphins, chemicals that relieve pain and help you to feel good both mentally and physically.


* Most importantly develop supportive relationships with your life partner, friends, family, workmates, and associates. Talking things over with the people in your life who love and care for you, can help you to overcome the negativity of toxic people. Just as animals and children instinctively can sense when someone is good or evil, the people who love you are very good at recognizing when someone is toxic and hurting you. Loved ones are a good defense against toxic people because they can offer you good advice and support for eliminating negative influences in your life.

Energy Thieves pt2

For those who missed the last issue of “Don't you hate it when”, I'll give a brief overview of what was covered.

We covered how miserable people rob us of our energy. How misery loves company etc. . We observed the fact that the way I had been dealing with them wasn't working, and h ow I began to experiment with other methods. Please see “Energy Thieves” for more info.

The methods that I have been experimenting with are as follows: 1. Ignore (covered previously), 2. Avoid, and 3. Mirror. We will now cover Avoidance and I will share my experience with this method,and how it worked for me.

2. Avoidance

I experimented with this method by simply avoiding this person as much as possible. This actually required a bit of change on my part. I generally like to sit at my desk when nothing is going on. Not this time. Avoiding the energy thief required getting up and moving around more (which was good for me). Whenever this guy started his pissing and moaning campaign, I simply got up and walked away. I have found this method to be highly effective, as I do not need to deal with this person at all. I'm not there. This also got me out of my comfort zone and caused me to interact more with others. Got me moving instead of simply melting away at my desk listening to all of his garbage. even need to discuss how his whining pisses me off. I simply wasn't there. This also subsided my own anger and frustration. How can I be angry with someone who doesn't exist???

3. Mirror

This was the most fun of all of the methods that I have tried. Warning: This requires some balls. The next time that I got stuck with this guy, I had a little fun with him. When he started his attention getting act, I did the same. It was a little uncomfortable at first, but boy was it fun. While he rambled on, I tuned him out by writing all of my problems on a small piece of paper. Then I inadvertently began rambling on about all of my life's issues. I cut him off in mid conversation, to tell him about every problem that I could think of. I learned something that day. I learned that energy thieves like to talk, but not listen. It's funny how people get the point when you simply do what theydo. Like the old adage says “ I can show you better than I can tell you”. Anyway, this was very liberating. I got to vent about all of my problems,and have fun in the process. I admit that I don't know when to stop. I was having so much fun that even when he shut up, I would just randomly blurt out some problem of mine. Boy did he get the picture. He was quiet the rest of the day.

Now when ever I work with this guy, he acts like a normal person. Imagine that. I knew that there was a normal person in there somewhere. I've learned that people will only do to you what you allow them to do. On my next post I will cover what the experts have to say about dealing with miserable people. I want to see if I'm on the mark or not.

Note: Please don't forget to add comments and tell me about things that bother you.

See you next time, Chris

Energy thieves (Miserable People)

Don't you hate it when... you are forced to interact with a miserable person?

We all know (or work with) someone who we consider to be a miserable person. You know, the ones you hate to see them coming. Don't they drag you down? The old adage is true “misery loves company”.

I find that when I'm around a miserable person, that I am drained mentally, emotionally, and physically. These people just suck all of the life out of you. They drain your power and energy. This is why I call the energy thieves. I have put together a list of why I hate to be around an engery thief.

The reasons are as follows:

1. They tend to be lazy
2. They not only don't do their work, but interfere with yours
3. They are very needy
4. They require a lot of attention
5. They are quite annoying
6. They steal not only energy, but valuable time
7. They raise my stress level
8. They waste time with useless babble
9. They want us to join them on the “misery plane”

I got stuck working with an energy thief the other day. This guy fits every one of the energy thief criteria. He was so busy whining about himself, and all of his little needs, that he couldn't even get his work done. Hope he didn't think that I was going to do it for him.

Most energy thieves live in their own world of denial. The world is unsafe for them, and they blow every thing out of proportion. They are cowards, and very good at what they do. Do not try to confront them.

I have confronted this guy in the past and it did not go well. I spent the rest of the day listening to “poor me”, and what a mean person I was for confronting him. Another emotional drain. Took all I had left in me not to simply strangle him. Though about it quite a few times. I wasted valuable time and energy trying to get this guy to see the light.

This lead me to investigate and come up with ideas about how to deal with such people. I have put together the following list to deal with the energy thieves in your life.

1. Ignore them
2. Avoid them as much as possible
3. Mirror their behavior.

This was the order that I came up with the idea. I have since changed the order to spell A.I.M. (aim).

I will cover all of these ideas in detain in the order that I experimented with them.

1. Ignore them

If you have not previously been ignoring them, be prepared. They may be used to you feeding into their b.s.. This practice gets worse before it gets better. If done consistently (over the course of a few days) it works.

How it worked for me: The first few time that I ignored him, he kept asking ,”what's wrong with you”? I attempted to be polite and simply deflect the question. He kept asking, so I finally told him, that I found his behavior to be quite annoying and that I would ignore him until he stops whining.

What's interesting, was that this time he couldn't start an argument, or play the “poor me” game, because I was already ignoring him. Remember, they are addicted to attention. I was denying him something that he desperately needed. Though he still tries to steal my energy from time to time, the percentage is much lower (10-15% as opposed to 80-90%).

I don't want to create too long of a post, so I will break this up into digestible bits of information. I honestly didn't think that this topic would run so long. Guess I have more energy these days (LOL).

I will continue this topic in the next post: 2. Avoid and 3. mirror them. This will also give me time to collect more data from my experiments.

“Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy”, Author unknown.




See you next time, Chris

Update

Been really busy this week. Had some unexpected things come up.  I will update my posts on Saturday.  Look for it.

Purpose

Don't you hate it when... is a place for us to vent our frustration about day to day things that rub us the wrong way. This is a forum for us, the little guy (or girl) to be heard .

I will post on something that upsets me two times per week. I will explore the probable causes, as well as take a look at potential solutions.

I encourage you the reader to join me by providing comments, feedback and/or questions regarding various issues. I also encourage you to send comments about things that upset you. Each Friday I will select one of the comments and write a blog about that particular issue.

I will also publish the percentages of what ever issue upsets you ( Ie. 9 out of 10 people or 90% of people who commented agree that they hate poor service at restaurants etc).

So, won't you join me and tell me things that make you angry.

TTFN Chris